This is a continued conversation with a young woman who has come up to a point most of us older women have faced. We didn’t want to miss the right opportunity and we were afraid of being alone down the road. Most of this fear is due to the background noise we were subjected to all our lives. I mean the comments about “old maids” and the feeling of inadequacy if no one “wants” us. We were not raised to be independent and now look to make our lives worthwhile by serving others. Some people are built that way anyway, I know I am, but society surely has dug a bed for us to lie in too. I am happy to see that this course is changing and young women are realizing their worth and are enabling themselves as potent and secure free spirits.
Here’s the original post that we opened discussion with.
And here is the latest :
I just feel that I need to feel more confident about my decisions and being comfortable making decisions. Currently after I’ve made up my mind to stay with my bf and go with the flow, someone who I was interested in in the past couple of years re-surfaced ( he has this funny way of coming up every couple of months). Now I feel somewhat confused about my decision about my bf and my heart and my mind are confused again.
And I replied:
Life is full of confusing situations, it’s all for your development. You’ve just come of age, don’t rush things. The whole boyfriend, girlfriend thing is a highly inflated subject. What’s wrong with just having friends? How can you give yourself completely to someone if you don’t really know who you are yet? These are my thoughts rambling away.
At this moment, I want to say that life is a smorgasbord. Sample this and taste that and enjoy the prospects. You’ll know when the right one shows up. If you really want to stick with the boyfriend you have, then do it until it doesn’t work anymore.
Isn’t it delightful that you made a choice and then another possibility came along? Does it mean the first choice you made was wrong? Does it mean that all your choices have to be set in stone? You don’t want to be a fickle girl by any means, but allow yourself some freedom, embarrassments, mistakes, and achievements.
You’re okay! Have you been doing any meditation practice? I want to encourage you to that. Some people call it praying, some meditating, some alone time. It should be a soft and comfortable time where you allow yourself to find what makes you giggle. Find what makes that thrill come up in your chest and tremble into your throat. Try some different subjects other than boys. What do you enjoy doing?
If you do what you enjoy, then there is a good chance that the friends you find there will be compatible with you.
