Agapism – a standard unit of measure

I found a new word today!  Well, a few days ago, now.  Agapism.  I know the root word, but never knew it was an “ism”.  Thanks goes to my friend Charles at Adelioux.com who has been doing some very creative writing in Spirit that you might like to take a look at.  Rhyming back in a comment on his blog, I realized I needed a word that ended in the sound “m”, and looked up words that ended in “ism”.  There are a lot.  Finding Agapism, I plugged it into a Google search and…

Here’s what I found on Wikipedia.

Agapism professes that love (or “agape”) should be the sole ultimate value and that all other values are derived from it, or that the sole moral imperative is to love. Theological agapism holds that our love of God is expressed by loving our fellow man. As the ethics of love, agapism indicates that we should do the most loving thing in each situation, letting love determine our obligation rather than rules. Alternatively, given a set of rules, agapism indicates to follow those rules which produce the most love.

So, what do you think?  Love is the ultimate value against which all else is measured.  Incredibly, simply put, yet what depth!  I’ve had this discussion with my children on a number of occasions.  They “love” to say “hate”.  I usually come to the conclusion with them that hate is far worse than the lack of love, but now that I’m rethinking the terms, I’m wondering if that is actually true.  Isn’t some kind of feeling better than no feeling at all?  I really don’t know.

Remember the quote, “’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?”  Who said that?  Hmmmm.  I’ll have to go search.  But not right at the moment, I’m having to move things around from one hard drive to another once again and can’t get on my browser.  Typing here while waiting for files to be moved, I’m not one to waste a moment.

Have you heard of the different names for love that the Greeks had/have?  I’ll add them in here too in a little bit.  It’s quite an interesting subject, one that many pastors love to talk on about.

Have you ever tried to find the love in a situation that is difficult?  For instance, someone cuts you off in traffic and your child’s head gets bumped against the window even though he is safely buckled in his booster seat in back.  Do you get angry?  Do you just wave the emotion away?  Or do you, possibly, try to imagine where the other driver was in their world?  I usually give the benefit of the doubt and tell my children that the other person may have just heard of a death in their family, or their boss may have fired them, or some other catastrophe may have thrown them into a bad mood.  The best thing we can do is send love their way and hope no one else suffers for their poor attitude.  That’s usually; sometimes I use a bit of sarcasm and mention how much more of the road they own than I do and that they are far more important than I.  So you have it, I’m far from perfect; far, far, far from it.

The second portion of the trifle on Agapism from Wikipedia is intriguing too.  If we have a set of rules or laws to live within, we must infuse the following of those rules with as much love as we can muster.  That sounds mightily like we should be love, live love, think love, speak love, love love, love hate, love pain, love stinking neighbors, love sore teeth, and love our captors…Here I am in church again.  Wow.  I feel guilty.

I think what it was saying up there was that we should follow loving ways beyond what the rules say.  If you are asked for a quarter, give a dollar.  If you are asked to pay income taxes of $1200, pay $2400.  Ha, I’m going a bit crazy here with finding the meaning in the words.  I hope you are gathering what I am finding out, that we need to act in a loving manner, but keep our head about us and love ourselves at the same time.

Okay, the person who wrote the quote about loved and lost iiiissssssssss:  Alfred Lord Tennyson.  Isn’t that something?  I always thought his name was Alfred Lloyd Tennyson.    And here’s another great one by Kahlil Gibran:  Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.  Thought his name was Kahil.  I’m strickin’ out hea.   I like that one, but I lean more toward changing love to remorse.  Ever has it been that remorse knows not its own height until the hour of separation.  Wouldn’t it be nice to never feel remorse or guilt over things said and done when we lose someone close?  Well then, I guess the best thing to do is look at our lives and get measuring against that good old yardstick called love.

I said I’d look up the Greek words for love and here they are as spelled out and defined on Wikipedia.  I love that place.

Ancient Greek has four distinct words for love: agápe, éros, philía, and storgē.

• Agápe (αγάπη agápē) means “love” in modern day Greek, such as in the term s’agapo (Σ’αγαπώ), which means “I love you”. In Ancient Greek, it often refers to a general affection or deeper sense of “true love” rather than the attraction suggested by “eros“. Agape is used in the biblical passage known as the “love chapter”, 1 Corinthians 13, and is described there and throughout the New Testament as sacrificial love. Agape is also used in ancient texts to denote feelings for a good meal, one’s children, and the feelings for a spouse. It can be described as the feeling of being content or holding one in high regard.

• Éros (έρως érōs) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Modern Greek word “erotas” means “(romantic) love;” however, eros does not have to be sexual in nature. Eros can be interpreted as a love for someone whom you love more than the philia, love of friendship. It can also apply to dating relationships as well as marriage. Plato refined his own definition: Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. It should be noted Plato does not talk of physical attraction as a necessary part of love, hence the use of the word platonic to mean, “without physical attraction.” Plato also said eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty, and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth by eros. The most famous ancient work on the subject of eros is Plato’s Symposium, which is a discussion among the students of Socrates on the nature of eros.

• Philia (φιλία philía) means friendship in modern Greek. It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. In ancient texts, philos denoted a general type of love, used for love between family, between friends, a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers.

• Storge (στοργή storgē) means “affection” in ancient and modern Greek. It is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring. Rarely used in ancient works, and then almost exclusively as a descriptor of relationships within the family. It is also known to express mere acceptance or putting up with situations, as in “loving” the tyrant.

For the love of Mike!  Alright already!  Not really, I find it all fascinating.  It seems Greek is a very emotional language; certainly much more specific than ours in pointing out the subtle nuances of what we designate as a single word.  We all know every one of these meanings for love, and yet, we hide the meanings within ourselves and hope others know just what we are meaning when we say things like, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” “Share the love.”  “Make love, not war.” “You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’.”

I use love as in God’s loving energy.  God’s energy is love in my mind.  I share love when I do distance healing energy sessions.  When I use the EFT – Emotional Freedom Technique tapping, I fill myself and clients with God’s love and encourage it to overflow onto others we come into contact with.  God’s love is perfect love and, I do believe, is the sole, ultimate value against which all things can be measured; just as the first quote said.  It is the deepest sense of affection there is and we should share it freely.

Agapism, a standard unit of measure.